Meeting for a friendly chat.

For ‘Russia Watchers’ familiar with Twitter, KermlinRussia is a man who needs no introduction. He’ll soon have over 44,000 followers, and he regularly posts acerbic, ironic tweets mocking news stories about Russia’s leaders, often rewording the language of tweets by the official presidential Twitter account (inaugurated with much fanfare during Medvedev’s visit to Silicon Valley), typically reversing or otherwise transforming the meaning of a prosaic Kremlin announcement into something embarrassing, cryptic, or downright evil. Kermlin’s tweets are the work of someone hyper-literate in Russian politics. The humor is scathing and merciless. For instance, hours after news emerged that journalist Oleg Kashin was savagely beaten and put into a medically-induced coma, Kermlin tweeted the following: “Today’s beating of oppositionist journalist Oleg Kashin was unquestionably to our credit. Before, we could have killed him.”

KermlinRussia's unforgiving, unhesitating humor.

Earlier this week, I reached out via Twitter to the “Perzident of Roissia” (a title he intentionally misspells to accent the bizarro-world slapstick of his tweets), and he was kind enough to agree to answer a few short questions. Below, you can read Kermlin’s introduction, my questions, and his answers. I wrote the questions in English (the language we used to communicate on Twitter), and he responded in a mix of English and Russian. I am including my own translation (in italics) of the Russian sections of his responses, but I welcome any improvements or corrections, if readers wish to submit suggestions. If you enjoy his sense of humor, I strongly encourage you to follow his updates on Twitter (if you’re not already).

• Если я буду отвечать на безупречном английском, все подумают, что я – американский шпион, засланный ЦРУ для огоризонталивания вертикали. Если буду допускать ошибки, то в подводке к интервью вы напишете Persident’s writing sucks. А я очень горжусь тем, что мои фолловеры считают, что я пишу грамотнее президента. Так что продолжим на государственном языке Роисси.
  If I answer [your questions] in perfect English, everyone will think that I’m an American spy planted by the CIA to horizontalize the [power] vertical. If I were to make any mistakes, you’d all look at this interview and say, “The Perzident’s writing sucks.” I happen to take great pride in the fact that my followers believe that I write more literately than the [real] President.

1. Who are you? If you prefer to remain anonymous, could you explain why you hide your identity?
   Меня зовут John Galt и всем пиздец. Ладно, зовут меня, конечно, по-другому, но от пиздеца это вряд ли спасет. Не раскрываюсь на всякий случай. Чтобы не обвинили, что это я – зачинщик пиздеца.
   My name is John Galt and we’re all fucked. Alright, that, of course, isn’t my name, but we’re still all fucked. I’m not telling in any event. (So that nobody blames me for fucking us all over.)
2. Why did you decide to create a Twitter account mocking the official tweets of the Russian president? Was there a particular moment when you decided to begin “KermlinRussia”?
   Я поспорил, что с нулевым бюджетом за один месяц сделаю СМИ, которое каждый день будет читать президент России. Похоже, я сделал единственное такое издание. The particular moment of kermlinrussia creating was exactly when my previous account mocking Russian president «krmelinrussia» had been suspended for massfollowing.
   I made a bet that — with a budget of zero — I could create a mode of mass media in a single month that would be read daily by the President of Russia. It seems that I’ve created the only such publication.
3. Your tweets indicate that you’re extremely well informed about happenings in the world of Russian politics. What information sources do you use to stay in the loop? What news sites are your favorites?
   Yandex.ru, Google.com, weekly meetings at president administration, since recently weekly meetings of Moscow city government. Nano brother is watching them.
4. How would you characterize your own personal political beliefs? Are you a liberal democrat? A conservative? A Leftist? A nationalist?
   Don’t give a fuck. Роисся потому и появилась, что на политическом поле нет ни одной рожи, к которой можно было бы проникнуться симпатией. Не то, что разделить ее политические взгляды.
   Roissia emerged precisely because, in the political field, there’s not one poor sap with whom it’s possible to sympathize. There is nobody with whom one can share any political views.
5. You have stirred up something of a controversy online, accumulating more than 40,000 followers on Twitter. Why do you think so many people subscribe to your updates?
   Несмотря на 77% поддержку тандема, согласно рейтингам ВЦИОМ, в твиттере нашлось 40% граждан, которые хотят другого президента. И боюсь, что Владимир Владимирович в качестве альтернативы их не устроит. Арифметика, конечно, встает дыбом, но в стране, где правящая партия в одном из регионов может рассчитывать на 115-120%, возможно и такое.
   Despite 77% approval ratings for the tandem (according to VTsIOM), on  Twitter you find that 40% of [Russian] citizens want a different president. And I’m afraid that Vladimir Vladimirovich [Putin] isn’t a satisfying alternative. The arithmetic makes your hair stand on end, but — in a country where the ruling party can tally up 115-120% of the vote in a single region — even this is possible.
6. Do you think Dmitri Medvedev or Vladimir Putin know about your Tweets? If they do know, what would you guess they think about it?
   Медведев точно знает. Он мне сам дал понять. А от Путина можно чего угодно ожидать. Он и Шевчука не знал. Они думают: «Мне бы так».
   Medvedev definitely knows. He let me know himself. But from Putin you might as well expect anything. He didn’t even know Shevchuk. They’re thinking: “If only that were me.”